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The importance of good girlfriend's

Sep 04, 2017 | Candice King

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More often than not, I call on my girlfriends when I need to talk rather than turning to family. Why? Because there are so many times when all I need are people who listen, genuinely listen. People who don’t revert back with advice, but to hear what I have to say and to provide a crying shoulder if I need it with no judgment. These are my girls.

Life as we know isn’t easy. Men come and go, family aren’t always there for you and it's time like these that I realize that I have pretty awesome women in my life. Now I have a lot of friends, a lot of great people in my life but there are a handful of women that know me – really and truly know me outside of what you see on social media and the bits of information that I share.

These women allow me to be myself all the time, no matter what that is and no matter what that looks like – sometimes that’s me coming to your place in a onesie and uggs. Let’s be honest, people always expect you to have it together and I don’t. Sometimes I feel low and down about things in my life and there’s nothing better than turning to a girlfriend and venting. The beauty of my friendships is that it’s honest, it’s ugly, and it’s real.

As mothers: You’re there to listen and to tell each other how much our kids work on our nerves or drive us crazy. We’re obsessed with our kids but hell, there’s always that one morning when you struggle to get your kids done for school. Those moments when your two year old is standing crying in the passage telling you how much they hate you and all you want to do in that time is close the door to ignore the crying. Those moments when you lose it with your child and smack them on the bottom because it all gets too much. We tell each other these things knowing there will be no judgment.

As friends: You’re there when your friend is going through a breakup and they call you crying on the phone. It’s at those times when you tell them what a douche flute you think their recent ex is and how they deserve better. You’re also there for them when they get back together with the douche flute days later because it’s whom they choose to be with. It’s who makes them happy. It’s not for you to judge, but to be supportive.

As a support: You’re there when your friend is getting into situations where you know she’s going to be left disappointed and will most likely get her heart broken. But you’re there, you understand and you listen because chances are, you’ve been there too. As much as you want to prevent your friend’s heart from breaking, you also know it’s what she needs at the time. She needs to take risks with the chance that the outcome could be beautiful. If not, you’re there to offer that shoulder to cry on.

As someone to laugh with: You’re there to sit with your friend in the lounge on the carpet with wine in hand laughing at the whatsapp’s she’s receiving from men who are trying to charm her but who are failing miserably. Yes, this may seem cruel but guys, we’re over 30 so just be yourselves and stop using all these lines to get us – we see through it and it doesn’t work. You laugh at the messages from her ex who is trying to get her back years after ending it because he didn’t know what he had when he had it.

As a dance partner: You’re there to go out together and let loose because you’ve had a crap workweek and you’re just emotional from matters of the heart and you just need a night out. Sometimes your friend acts as your lesbian lover because you actually don’t feel like having guys hit on you, you just want a girls night out. You my friend’s are the real MVP’s

As a sneaky mom: You’re there to organize play dates with your broods that involve lots of activity just to make your kids super tired so that you can go home and relax in the bath for 30mins with no interruptions. We have each other’s backs like that. Sneaky moms are life. Oh, we obviously also use these sessions to catch up on salacious stories – moms are women too.

As a fellow singleton: You’re there waiting for their date to end so that you can message them to get all the juicy details. You’re there to laugh at the dismal dates your friends go on but hey, it may not have been great but at least they’re getting themselves out there. You’re also the friend who shows up at netball matches to keep your friend company because you know what it’s like to do these things solo.

As a compliment giver: You’re there, ready to voice note them to tell them that in the 5 mins you saw each other whilst dropping the kids at school, you think they smell nice, that their hair looked good and that the outfit they’re wearing makes them look beautiful.

I could really keep going on about how much I value having these women in my life but this post would be much longer and I wouldn’t want to give away all our secrets.

To my girlfriends, thank you. Thank you for accepting me with all my flaws and for allowing me to be me. 

 

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